It Used to be a daydream, now it's an everyday struggle

 I am writing to keep myself sane at this point today, because what I wrote yesterday - I really needed to read today.

It's the end of the world & my main man is YESHUA. How that happened - Well over a course of 10-ish years we fell in love. Really for a long time I was in recovery from mental health issues but slowly i came back to myself. GOD showed up one day and told me prayers i had prayed a long time ago. 

Then i prayed that the man I loved would be the only one attracted to me as I put on some anointing oil. I was overweight and I had struggled with mental health for a long time. 

I am not sure it is a beautiful love story as I once thought - - But we are here now in love and committed to each other for now as we see how the future evolves before us. 

I started talking to Christ again and HE showed up again. I don't know where HE was during the years I had mental health issues, but one day i realized HE was listening to me.

And somehow we found a rhythm to our life for awhile, before I decided to go out on the road and be homeless for CHRIST in opposition to the greed and hard-hearts of the American church.

I struggled daily but I got by. I lost all of my fears and found love in Christ. I stopped sinning slowly after I came out of the fog of spiritual warfare on my mind.

I sang a song about getting a little bit stronger and looking back i did get a little bit stronger.

I reach out to my kids but I don't get a response, it is very dis-heartening. People around me don't seem to realize the spiritual battle i am dealing with. I try as hard as i can to live a peaceful life, but very many times I am dealing with a spiritual battle.And I am going to win.